Celebrities: They’re just like us!
For some reason, we peasants desperately cling to this idea that people who live in Bel Air mansions driving Aston Martins and glugging Veuve Clicquot are just like all of us run-of-the-mill nine-to-fivers.
I mean, there are entire magazine columns and bits dedicated to that very sentiment. They’re stuffed to the brim with creepy paparazzi images of Jennifer Lawrence trying to live her life and buy some Starbucks and Lupita Nyong’o attempting to buy groceries in peace. Yes, my friends, celebrities do indeed have to eat. They also go to the doctor, get dental cleanings, have dry cleaning to deal with, and get anal worms.
Wait…hold up. What?
You heard me: anal worms. Oh, that’s a little TOO real for you on your quest to relate to celebs? Everyone’s favorite girl next door, Kristen Bell, does not give one singular damn about your feelings on the matter. She’s sharing her anal worm anecdotes with reckless abandon.
Kristen recently chatted (about way too much) with Joel McHale on his eponymous show when inexplicably, anal worms came up, which are apparently a thing.
“I did have anal worms two weeks ago. I swear to God. They’re called pinworms,” admitted Bell, “My kids have them.”
As you may not know, “50 percent of people over 15 don’t experience symptoms…which is the itch.” PERFECT.
“And your kids get them because they put their hands in their mouth and they lay eggs. You have to monitor it and look in their poop and when you wipe their butt, sure enough, I wiped and saw a little white worm.” WHY IS SHE DOING THIS?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I just love the internet. I’m so happy that I now know Kristen Bell and her spawn have anal worms. Breathtaking.
Three years ago today. 47lbs heavier. Getting through painful contractions with backrubs and breathing. Occasionally swinging from the IV pole to try and feel sexy and open up my hips. After 36 hours of labor I met a girl i love more than all the molecules in all the world. Happy birthday, Delta. Love, mom #meshpanties